beauty #18: waiting...

i'm 21. i'm a senior. and my life is about to change. it is going to be more different than it has ever been. and i find myself in the weirdest place right now. there are so many emotions...

i'm so excited. there are so many things i want to do in the one life that i've been given. i've been given this one chance to make a difference. to do something spectacular.

i'm so scared. i've never been on my own...i'm not that girl that has had to make it on her own. i've always had my parents...my family nearby...my close friends. and pretty soon, none of that will be the same. i'll be independent...

i'm so nervous. what if i screw up? what if i don't make it? what if all i do is disappoint everyone?...including myself.

i'm so pumped! i've waited for this time to come...i've dreamed about getting out there and really living my own life.

i'm stuck. stuck on the fact that i have no clue what tomorrow will bring.

so i started blogging as an outlet...a relief from my own life. an insight into others. a small comfort in this crazy world knowing that i'm not the only 20 something trying to figure all of this out.

so when i started blogging...i needed a name. all the blogs i followed had the most precious names ever...their names described where their writers were in their lives. and thats exactly what i needed. at the time, i knew that i was trying to make a change. i knew i needed to stop following what everyone else wanted...i needed to be a seeker. a searcher. and then i heard a song that pinpointed exactly where i was...in my relationship with God, my family, my friends. my relationship with life in general.

waiting for something beautiful -- needtobreathe

In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is risin' quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

In a daydream, I couldn't live like this
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won't have what I need

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

everytime i listen to this song...i cant help but smile. and it gave me the idea for my blog..it's all about a SEARCH. a search for something greater. something amazing and wonderful. something more phenomenal than anything i've ever seen. the beauty of LIFE...it's all around me and until recently, i had failed to notice all of it. all of the blessings that God has placed around me. so that's how my sweet blog gots its name....and that's the meaning behind the name...all equally as beautiful.